It’s funny how time flies. One day I went to bed an adolescent and somehow wake up an adult without ever recognizing when the change took place. The actual moment in time when the transition happens when suddenly I was no longer the same person. Although the precise moment is lost the journey most definitely is not. I remember sitting in eight grade study hall thinking to myself this is such a waste of time I can’t wait until I am in College, when I have a job, when I can start having an impact. It seems that we are always wishing we were one step ahead of ourselves, or maybe that’s just me. Perhaps the cliché the grass is always greener on the other side fits. When I was young I couldn’t wait to grow up- dreaming of a brilliant and shiny future confidant of all the greatness I would become and accomplish. Somehow I became an adult- now I look at children and marvel at how they process information, how they see the world. I hope and dream of their bright and shiny futures all the while regretting that I lost mine. Not that it is lost entirely but it’s not as bright and shiny as it used to be. Responsibility and the reality of life experience has tattered the edges and the color is beginning to fade.
My journey was a blur of poor choices and busy days. I have made many decisions that weren’t advisable on my road to maturity, too many to recall. Hindsight is 20/20. As I look back I recognize the moments were I completely botched it, where I hit so far off the mark that I am not sure what I was aiming for. Despite the heartache and tears I would never change the road I have taken on this joyous adventure of life. The moments when I was the most broken were when I learned that I would survive and found a Savior. I found the courage to walk away from my treasure, to love deeply but love myself more. I felt an array and depth of emotion that I didn’t think was possible to feel- in it I found my strength. I am a strong, beautiful bride of Christ- and all my experiences made me the servant I am today. If I could do it differently I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t trade one tear, one heartbreak, or one giggle fit. Sometimes you have to journey through the darkness to appreciate the splendor of a sunrise.
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